Last picture taken at home of my sweet Razzle. July 5, 2007.
Today, at 11:49am, Razzle was put to rest. Truly one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
His health had declined to the point where he could no longer walk. I had been syringing him food and water every 2 hours since Tuesday with no improvement.
We spent the morning together and I held him and talked to him. I told him all the things I wanted him to know. When we got to the vet's office, they had a room ready for us and they gave us as much time as we needed. We were there a good long time, holding Razzle...telling him we loved him and that we'll never forget him. I told him he can come and visit me anytime.
Razzle was so weak that he could barely move. Moments before we were to let him go, I put him in his hedgie-bag so he wouldn't be scared. He was unable to move his hind legs and I had to put him in the bag and try to make him comfortable. I put my head down in front of the bag and was looking at his quills on his back, when he mustered up some strength to turn his entire body around and stuck his head out at me. I kissed him, and he turned back as much as he could before tiring out. It must have taken him every last bit of strength to do that. That little boy amazed me until the end with his bravery and courage.
Razzle and his daddy, one last time.
We spoke to the doctor and we decided it was time. It was either that or put him in intensive care. I kept flip-flopping back and forth and wondering: but what if? What if he can get better?? The truth is, he might get better for a while, but this would happen again and again. Razzle hated being in the hospital. I couldn't do that to him again.
I thought about letting him go, and was sad for me. I thought about putting him in the hospital for God knows how long in hopes he'd get better - and I was sad for him. Then I knew.
The hardest thing I've ever done was hand him over.....
Driving home from the vets, we looked up in the sky and I swear the clouds were shaped like all different sized hedgehogs.
I love you Razzle and I'll never forget you. I hope you are somewhere in those clouds...running around free of pain and yucky-tasting medicines. I hope there is a never ending supply of shrimp and hamburgers. I hope you had a happy life with me and know that I did everything I could for you. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anymore. I hated to let you go, but I hated knowing you might be in pain even more. I hope to hold you again one day, pumpkin. You'll always be my baby.