Thursday, July 5, 2007

Rest in Peace, my Angel

Last picture taken at home of my sweet Razzle. July 5, 2007.

Today, at 11:49am, Razzle was put to rest. Truly one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.

His health had declined to the point where he could no longer walk. I had been syringing him food and water every 2 hours since Tuesday with no improvement.

We spent the morning together and I held him and talked to him. I told him all the things I wanted him to know. When we got to the vet's office, they had a room ready for us and they gave us as much time as we needed. We were there a good long time, holding Razzle...telling him we loved him and that we'll never forget him. I told him he can come and visit me anytime.

Razzle was so weak that he could barely move. Moments before we were to let him go, I put him in his hedgie-bag so he wouldn't be scared. He was unable to move his hind legs and I had to put him in the bag and try to make him comfortable. I put my head down in front of the bag and was looking at his quills on his back, when he mustered up some strength to turn his entire body around and stuck his head out at me. I kissed him, and he turned back as much as he could before tiring out. It must have taken him every last bit of strength to do that. That little boy amazed me until the end with his bravery and courage.
Razzle and his daddy, one last time.

We spoke to the doctor and we decided it was time. It was either that or put him in intensive care. I kept flip-flopping back and forth and wondering: but what if? What if he can get better?? The truth is, he might get better for a while, but this would happen again and again. Razzle hated being in the hospital. I couldn't do that to him again.

I thought about letting him go, and was sad for me. I thought about putting him in the hospital for God knows how long in hopes he'd get better - and I was sad for him. Then I knew.

The hardest thing I've ever done was hand him over.....

Driving home from the vets, we looked up in the sky and I swear the clouds were shaped like all different sized hedgehogs.

I love you Razzle and I'll never forget you. I hope you are somewhere in those clouds...running around free of pain and yucky-tasting medicines. I hope there is a never ending supply of shrimp and hamburgers. I hope you had a happy life with me and know that I did everything I could for you. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anymore. I hated to let you go, but I hated knowing you might be in pain even more. I hope to hold you again one day, pumpkin. You'll always be my baby.


Carrie said...

Oh, Deb and Steve!

Dave and I are SO sorry to hear about sweet Razzle! We are hurting for you both. You WILL see him again someday...I know this.

We're thinking of you both and sending huge hugs. Razzle was deeply loved.

Carrie and Dave

HedgieMate said...

I know the pain I'm feeling right now is nothing compared to what you and Steve are feeling right now, but believe me, it hurts badly and I can't stop crying...

You were so brave to let Razzle go. I hope I will be just as brave and selfless as you to let G go when his time comes so that he will be free of pain and struggle. Razzle was a lucky boy to have had such wonderful mommy and daddy.

Rest and play in peace with your new friends at the Rainbow Bridge, Razzle. May your days waiting for mommy and daddy be filled with mealworms, shrimp, hamberger meat and all other goodeis you love. You'll be in our heart always.

LakeJW said...

I am so sorry. So, so sorry. Please remember that Razzle loves you to no end. The best day of his life was when he found you. And they only got better from there! His friends back at the pet store probably didn't believe his notes to them ("hedgie bags with seasonal themes!", "odometer on my wheel!", "mom and dad who love me and make me happy!", "baths in the sink!", "view of lake michigan!"). Reminds me of Annie telling the other orphans about the mansion. He was loved by many and will be missed. And he'll always be with you. You made the most unselfish choice anyone can make. It was a gift to him. Please take care and call anytime. We'll miss you, sweet Razzle! Janice, Brian, Johnny and Kiki

Rachie-Babe said...

I am so sorry for your loss of Razzle. I cried as I read your post here and at Chins and Quills. I'm keeping you in my thoughts

Miss Steffy said...

Oh guys....I as well cried when I read this...I kept up every day with the blog, getting excited with every improvement and getting sad with every misfortune. I honestly thought he would pull through. Making this decision is hard, I know, I had to do it too. I asked myself "if it was me..what would I want?" I would not want the pain. Razzle was such a fighter and I can only give you my deepest respect for all that you did for him, your were the best parents a hedgehog could ask for. I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that we will see our angels again, if they ever truly leave.

Jennifer said...

You know Razzle's causing trouble up in those clouds now!

Peggy said...

It was with a heavy heart that I read about Razzle's passing. He was such a brave little fighter during his time of illness. I understand what a difficult choice it was to say goodbye to such a sweetie, but it was one made in love.

Razzle -- say hello to my beloved Pinball.

Razzle said...

thank you so much everyone...your comments are so very appreciated. It's been hard to accept losing Razzle...he was such a big part of my life. There is still a sense of disbelief about it all. I have kept his cage exactly as it was...with food and water bowls filled. It's hard to believe when I look over there that he's not just sleeping quietly in his igloo. I am so glad I have this blog so I can go back and look at his sweet face. We went through a lot, especially over the last few months, but I wouldn't trade our time together for anything in the world.

Rattie said...

It's never easy to say goodbye to a friend but you still have all the sweet memories. I am sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

the time has caught on,
the let go was tough,
the last words you spoke,
the last glance you shared,
he lives on in your memories,
in your heart,
he is waiting for you,
until the three of you are there,
he will meet you,
believe me he knows,
somewhere,over the rainbow,

my hedgie just died,i know how you felt :(